Back in High School, the thought of starting University scared the hell out of me. To be honest, it still does. I spent 15 years (note I started Pre-K at 3 years old) through kindergarten to High school in uniform and also with extremely limited freedom.

The primary school I had attended was Pacific Harbor Multi-Cultural School and it was not that bad when it came to rules probably because the school board and our teachers were convinced that we, the students were too young and immature for rules to be seriously enforced and we would not really follow it to — okay granted they were 90% right and most of us didn’t really mind playing dumb too.

The sense to abide by school rules kicked in during my first year in High School. In Saint Joseph’s Secondary, we had rules for literally everything you can imagine. No colored jackets were allowed unless if it was a school jacket or if it was plain blue. Our school shoes had to be sandals only and if it was a closed shoe, it had to be all back even the soles. Our hair had to be braided into one plait only or a braided pony tail, no buns or two plaits allowed. If you had short hair, it had to be English cut or bob cut – no fancy styles. Gold or silver studs were the only earrings allowed on students. After school, students are only allowed to hang around town until 4 pm and must be home afterwards…the list is endless.

Now, when I entered University, even the term “Culture-Shock” does not really emphasis my adaptation. The taste of freedom was so sweet that I began to grow addicted to it. I lost focus of what was wrong and what was right. I chose to compromise in most situations where it mattered and go hard on meaningless excitement that was fun at that period of time but had serious consequences afterwards. Freedom is great, it gives youths and adolescents a trial of independence of life but maturity is shown through responsibility. The splash of reality water arose from pre-exam anxiety. I came to realize where I went wrong and the fate of my tertiary record depended on a positive result from the examination. I worked on it, it was difficult but I knew it was the price I had to pay for not balancing fun and education. Even the thought of getting a “C” felt like achieving a gold medal.

I am glad I had experienced that. My responsibility towards my future and myself relied on the fact that I could handle the freedom University has to offer. A sentence so simple yet so hard to for individual students to control…but hey, Rome wasn’t built in a day right?

A Wedding is a matrimonial ceremony that joins or unifies two individuals to become man and wife. How the ceremony takes place depends solely on these individuals because traditions and customs vary mostly through their religion, social class, country and their individual unique ethnic groups. A Fijian wedding holds a tremendous importance to the I-Taukei culture mainly because it revolves around the joining of two prominent families, or any ordinary family, that strengthens and lifts their individual social class, ties and reputation.

There are originally twenty processes and stages that build up towards a traditional Fijian i-Taukei wedding. The first stage is called the Taibailago. This is the stage where the boy’s family informs the girl’s parents that their son is courting their daughter. The second stage is called the Duguci. The boy’s family traditionally asks for the girl’s hand in marriage through the presentations of the tabua (whales tooth) and yaqona. The third stage is called the Vakadonu Gusu, the stage where the female and her family approve of the “Duguci” (marriage proposal). The boy’s family presents another tabua as “thank you” for the approval. The fourth stage is called Vakana. This stage is where both families separately prepares a feast amongst their own individual families and discuss their contributions for the wedding. Na Vakabi I Vola is the fifth stage. This is the process where the female and male informs their other relatives that they are to be married. A notice is put out for 21 days to allow anyone that is against the union to come forward.  Na Dresu I Vola is the sixth stage where a member from either family comes forward to voice his disagreement about the union by ripping the notice from the Vakabi I Vola.  

The seventh stage is called Na Vakawati se Vakamau. The couple get married in the church after both families give their final approval for this marital union. The eighth stage is called Na Tevutevu. The gifts that were gathered are taken to the newlywed’s home. The gifts consists of several mats that all have a specific purpose, pillows, blankets, masi (tapa cloth), wooden chests, and kitchenware. The ninth stage is called I Butubutu. The mat that the bride and groom to stood on during the Church service is than folded and given to the Pastor. Nai Lakovi ni Yalewa is the tenth stage. After the church service, tevutevu and ibutubutu, the bride is being brought to her new home. The eleventh stage is called Na Lewe Se’I Vakatawa ni Bola. Before the bride enters her home, a tabua will be placed inside a wooden chest and is carried into the house. The twelfth stage is called Na I Yau I Tinai Gone. The yau and magiti (wedding gifts) are set aside for the bride’s mother in law. Na Kali ni Sucu is the thirteenth stage. A tabua is being presented to the bride’s family to assure them that the bride’s mother-in-law will take good care of her.

The fourteenth stage is called Na I Vola. A tabua is presented as proof that the bride now has a place in her husband’s mataqali. The fifteenth stage is called I Tataunaki. The tabua is presented by the bride’s family to the groom’s family to state that the bride is part of the boy’s family now. Bogi Va is the sixteenth stage after the marriage where the bride and groom share bed and have intercourse over white sheets for the first time. Older ladies sit outside the room until morning to see if the bride was a virgin or not by checking for blood stains on the sheets. The seventeenth stage is called the Vakasobu. The bride is taken to the river bank where she needs to swim ashore a new woman. Na I Tatau is the eighteenth stage where a tabua is again presented as a farewell by the girl’s family. The nineteenth stage is called I Vakatale. A tabua is presented to the girl’s family as a way of asking forgiveness if they may have offended the girl’s family during all the stages that was covered. The twentieth stage is called Boko ni Buka. A tabua, yaqona or magiti is presented as ending of the traditional process.

These traditions build an identity of an individual especially an I-Taukei. The protocols of a Fijian traditional wedding are significant because of the importance each stages holds in building a steady and foundational relationship between the two families. Even though most of these traditions are long forgotten, it is admirable that most modern families now still uphold the values of a traditional Fijian I-Taukei wedding.

Ever since our discovery, we Fijians have been pegged as savages because of our traditions, culture, customs, beliefs and ways of life. Although it was considered normal for us and we did not find fault, our ancestors took a long time to understand why the Western Missionaries labelled our ways as pagan.

It was certainly clear that our ancestors found it difficult to find a common ground between religion and our traditions. They had to find balance because they had a sense of loyalty to their identity as a Fijian and the beliefs of their fore fathers and the loyalty towards their new found spiritual beginnings as a Christian convert. Coming to a balance was not an easy task to accomplish especially considering the Fijian traditions, but I’m really proud our ancestors had achieved it.

Religion was not the only cause of change to our Fijian way of life. Towards the modern centuries, it was obvious that the exposure of Mass Culture impacted our traditions and lifestyle more than Religion. We are connected to the outer world more often than we attend traditional ceremonial functions with technological products that are easily accessible.

Millennials can easily admit that yes, we do not know much about our traditions and culture because we are more focused on keeping up with latest trends and maintaining an image.

But by doing so…we don’t realize how much we’ve lost our identities as Fijians, or any other culture out there that is losing the value of existence because the generations now chooses to ignore connecting themselves back to their roots. I could only hope that most people realize this before its really too late.

As a Fijian, I live in a society that chooses to look at Homosexuality as a taboo topic to indulge. Growing up in a community that has religion as its foundation makes perspectives flow in a one-way mind for the adults and children.

Ever since Year 9, I had attended an all-girls Catholic high school and since the first day I had stepped into that school gate, I had experienced major culture shock. I was raised in a strong Methodists family and to see how casual the senior students were in publicly displaying their affections with their partners in school had my mind extremely baffled.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the experience I had and because of that, I am more open and supportive for the LGBT community because when it’s Love, it’s Love.

In 2015, the school principal had become more vigilant because of how open the students were with their sexuality and their willingness to show it in school and in public. Girls were put into detention and getting counseled for their so-called “sinful behavior”. It went worse in 2016, students that were gay or bisexual were being called into the principal’s office and were threatened to either end their relationship with their partners or have their parents called into the office to be informed of their daughter’s sexuality. Even the students that were not gay were being called into the office to be questioned if they were or not.

Living in Fijian society, it is understandable for the LGBT community to keep their sexuality to themselves because most families would have shunned them if they ever found out. Because of this, the gay students in my school had to hide their sexuality because of the fear of being exposed to their families

It’s been 2 years now that I have been out of high school, and I am forever certain that there still hasn’t been any changes towards the Gay-ism support in High School. The question is, will there ever be?